- Wed Feb 05, 2014 7:48 am
#183609
What I can not apologize for, however, is the fundamental concept behind my rigorous attitude. Sure, I said many things that I regret, and now I am coming back to my senses and apologizing. Many people have probably said things recently that they either do regret, or should feel sorry for. These instances, I noticed, happened more frequently in-game then on this thread. But nonetheless, they made no such apology. I have turned people against me because I wish to FIGHT for the rights of those who wish NOT TO. I am perfectly acceptable of my self-instilled position to battle against this feature. I fear that many arguments will come out of it. I understand it is completely hypocritical to argue ferociously in order to stop arguments. But what I find more disgusting than my hypocrisy is that people are willing to pin myself as the bad guy for this entire instance! I find that people who support this feature are using the counter-arguments of "Why remove it?" "It won't hurt you!" "You won't die unless you head straight to spawn!" Well my friends, I disagree with your position so much that I was willing to lose my temper and distract from my calm demeanor that I have been trying to keep ever since my best friends on MineRealm, texas_hitman, hshizzlefresh, and most of Trinity, were forced off of this server, regardless of whether that forcing was directly their fault and their own doing (in which case it is not physical forcing, but still forcing in some aspect nonetheless).
Ever since Trinity was disband, it has become increasingly hard for me to play on this server. This in no way is my fault or the fault of any staff members, especially our leader Intelli, who I have attacked directly on this thread and one other for supporting the Mist. It is the fault of the general nature of our community. Players like Prodigy9 are scarce, and that is why it felt like a dagger stuck in my heart to read his reply to my ludicrous comment. Even players with a higher social status on this game than Prodigy9 (no offense to my dear friend) are willing to be plagued with this disease that has stricken many. Is this disease a problem that has led to the downfall of this server we all love? No. There is no such downfall. Is this disease the general causation of MineRealm becoming filled with less loving and kind members? Perhaps not. Perhaps it is within my head and the newer generation of players has caused this server to be more tightly knit than ever. Perhaps it is not within my head! Perhaps players who come in, purchase a disbanding realm or receive items from those who quit, are instantly placing themselves into the community as a well-respected member and are having an influence on a community so new but so aged! It is with displeasure that I announce that many new players are being taken over with greed, not in the sense that they wish for credits more desperately than the rest of us, but with the sense that they are somehow tearing down the threads of the 3.0 era.
I must be insane. This is probably a feeling felt by none of the older players. Maybe they are more susceptible to change. Maybe this rant is so off-topic and irrelevant that when people muster the strength in themselves to stop doing something important and read this entire thing, that they will respond with more hate.
I should speak of the issue at hand now.
I should speak of why I am willing to type so much nonsense, and then hope that it will not be perceived as such.
Well if I shall do so, then I shall do so directly! This is my final plea on the matter. I fear that it will get shot down faster than my attempts to feel accepted on a server that I once was respected! But nonetheless, I must explain my position in depth.
Do I care about the Mist's direct effect on myself? No. I do not care if you think I am a selfish player, because in truth, I am. This is because of losing Trinity, and even though Arcane was glad enough to accept me, I am not where I belong. I do not care about the Mist's direct on myself, and it has nothing to do with the fact that some peg me as selfish. It has everything to do with the fact that it will never end up causing the death of mine unless I choose it to.
What I do care about, is that there are players on this server, who I myself have seen on other servers. PvP servers. And yet, they manage to feel so strongly about the PvP aspect of this community. Do they not understand the constant arguing and struggles that are inherit with this fighting online? Do they not understand the pain that they have caused others? Do they think that PvP is really better here, despite the fact that there are millions of servers that cater to PvP? These questions are rhetorical of course. The answer is yes to all of them. And the answer is the exact opposite of what it should be. And it befuddles me, as a rather intelligent but extremely sensitive and naive individual, as to why the answers are yes.
I would speculate as to why the answer is yes, but I need not do so. I such wish to tell you guys that the answer should be no. And I am not willing to type an entire rant within a rant as to why it makes little sense to actually care about PvP on this server. That being said, it is perfectly acceptable, in my eyes, to have an occasional joust with other members that you love and respect...
But as soon as you start killing those you don't know or don't respect, you are damaging this server more than a DoS attack! You are damaging this server with your lust to murder more than I damaged this server with my arguing with connorartman97 over a year ago, or my arguing with VVolfie a few days ago. Or anybody's arguing with anybody, ever. I can respect your choice to PvP with others. But I can not respect your choice to do so in a serious manner. In a manner where you can harm other people's feelings.
But, this is the internet. Feelings are supposed to get hurt. People are supposed to bully others over the internet to the point where they kill themselves, just so the bullies can get some sense of satisfaction in their lives. And that is certainly not the case with Minecraft, especially a well protected and enforced server such as MineRealm. But it is the case. Not to the severity of what I explained, but to some measurable amount.
The Mist is no exception. The Mist is taking those who wish not to fight, and although not technically forcing them to fight, forcing them to be apart of something just how I was forced away from Trinity, even after trying to keep it alive without the help of seasoned veteran players.
If you are fine with being part of the group of people who are forcing this upon the server, then I pass no judgement upon your character. But, it is your actions who define you. And even though I attempt to pass no judgement, others will, and honestly, I will probably do so to some extent as well.
But you may continue. You may continue to support this feature even if you are aware of what it is doing. You may continue to argue that it has no negative side effects, and you may be right.
You may also be wrong.
And if you are wrong, then I am by default correct. And I wish to be incorrect with all of my heart, soul, and mind. I wish that I was not the one who had to type this. I wish that I was not the wake-up call to some and the snooze button to others. I want you to have read this and woken up, and seen what I see when I write a destructive and inappropriate response on this thread. I do not want you to see this post and hit the metaphorical snooze button. For one, the snooze button is a weak metaphor in itself. But I do not want you to be able to sleep with the thoughts that you support this feature. And that is ridiculous to the highest degree. Maybe why I chose such as dumb metaphor.
I want you to change. I don't want to fight with anybody on this server. I want to be like the rest of you, who are fine with how things are going. I don't want to submit this post. But I feel like I must. I feel like it is my responsibility to stop the Mist. Regardless of whether or not it gets me banned or hated or cussed at.
I have already been disrespected enough, and I have already disrespected enough. So I thank all of you. I thank those who have fought to kill the innocent on this server. I thank those who have gotten into arguments with me, or those who have stolen my items. I thank you because I have pulled the final straw out of my arsenal to stop what I believe is a monstrosity. And you helped me do so.
So, essentially, maybe the Mist is not a bad thing. Even though I spent an hour just now writing about how it may be, I realize that perhaps it is not. This is because it is just a feature that may end up forcing one out of a hundred to fight. But that is not the point. This Mist is food for the worst nightmare somebody who loves this server like myself can have. The Mist is fuel to the fire that is burning us all to the ground. I don't ask you to change your mind or opinion about the Mist, but I ask you to change your demeanor. I don't want to argue with you all, or with any of you. I don't want to be angry because every single project I have ever started on this server has failed. I don't want to be mad because although you all know my name and know who I am, you don't know what I feel. And that is why I am posting this. I want you all to know how I truly feel about the reasons behind my hatred of the Mist.
Not the Mist itself.
But what arises behind the Mist.
A darker, more terrifying Mist. A concept that has suffocated many, and a terrible plague that I am only trying to heal. Even if it seems like I am making matters worse.
I thank you again Prodigy9. Without you, I would have never written this. Without you, I would have never felt like I must be a delegate on some threads and voice my opinion. But as powerful as a single opinion may be, I hope that this one post can be more powerful than that. I hope, with much doubt but much reason, that this post can change us all. And I know it won't. I know this post will cause more flame.
So hit the like button, the quote button, or just yell at me through this medium of the internet called the forums. But as long as I have swayed one person, not to be on my side, but to understand why I was upset, and why I feel lost, then I have done what I wished to do.
Intelli, I am sorry for posting this. I am sorry if you read this and think that it has anything to do with essentially anything offensive or flame-worthy. And I am sorry to you, for damaging a relationship that I have tried to start up. But I hope you know that the only reason I still play on this server is because I have hope. Because I have hope that I can learn from my time on MineRealm and be a better person in real life. And that should be what MineRealm does to people. We should establish real life feelings for people we meet on the internet. And when those feelings get broken, like mine are as of now, we should learn how to thank those who broke them, for they taught us how to repair them as well.
Thank you all for reading this. I hope next time you see me post in the forums or play on the server for an hour or so, you look back to this. For I don't wish this to become meaningful to us all, I just wish for it to become meaningful to me.
Prodigy9 wrote:Good sir, you have bested me. You are correct, such an attitude is futile for gaining support for my stance on this issue. I apologize to all who I may have offended with said statement. I agree that I should have dealt with this situation in a more civil manner and that my behavior was inappropriate. I agree that instilling my opinion that people who do not support my suggestion have a lack of sense is ridiculous, offensive, and childish. I am truly sorry, and I hope anybody who sees this message can forgive me. I do not want to make enemies and I believe this thread in general, and my argumentative position, has forced many to turn against me. It is within my best nature to apologize to all of you, as you can most likely tell by my numerous attempts to do so within this single paragraph.The-Jack-DeCk wrote: Since somehow, people had a lack of sense within themselves and down-voted this suggestion, then I can only hope that Jen's compromise pulls throughI don't see how that sort of attitude is going to help build support for your position.
What I can not apologize for, however, is the fundamental concept behind my rigorous attitude. Sure, I said many things that I regret, and now I am coming back to my senses and apologizing. Many people have probably said things recently that they either do regret, or should feel sorry for. These instances, I noticed, happened more frequently in-game then on this thread. But nonetheless, they made no such apology. I have turned people against me because I wish to FIGHT for the rights of those who wish NOT TO. I am perfectly acceptable of my self-instilled position to battle against this feature. I fear that many arguments will come out of it. I understand it is completely hypocritical to argue ferociously in order to stop arguments. But what I find more disgusting than my hypocrisy is that people are willing to pin myself as the bad guy for this entire instance! I find that people who support this feature are using the counter-arguments of "Why remove it?" "It won't hurt you!" "You won't die unless you head straight to spawn!" Well my friends, I disagree with your position so much that I was willing to lose my temper and distract from my calm demeanor that I have been trying to keep ever since my best friends on MineRealm, texas_hitman, hshizzlefresh, and most of Trinity, were forced off of this server, regardless of whether that forcing was directly their fault and their own doing (in which case it is not physical forcing, but still forcing in some aspect nonetheless).
Ever since Trinity was disband, it has become increasingly hard for me to play on this server. This in no way is my fault or the fault of any staff members, especially our leader Intelli, who I have attacked directly on this thread and one other for supporting the Mist. It is the fault of the general nature of our community. Players like Prodigy9 are scarce, and that is why it felt like a dagger stuck in my heart to read his reply to my ludicrous comment. Even players with a higher social status on this game than Prodigy9 (no offense to my dear friend) are willing to be plagued with this disease that has stricken many. Is this disease a problem that has led to the downfall of this server we all love? No. There is no such downfall. Is this disease the general causation of MineRealm becoming filled with less loving and kind members? Perhaps not. Perhaps it is within my head and the newer generation of players has caused this server to be more tightly knit than ever. Perhaps it is not within my head! Perhaps players who come in, purchase a disbanding realm or receive items from those who quit, are instantly placing themselves into the community as a well-respected member and are having an influence on a community so new but so aged! It is with displeasure that I announce that many new players are being taken over with greed, not in the sense that they wish for credits more desperately than the rest of us, but with the sense that they are somehow tearing down the threads of the 3.0 era.
I must be insane. This is probably a feeling felt by none of the older players. Maybe they are more susceptible to change. Maybe this rant is so off-topic and irrelevant that when people muster the strength in themselves to stop doing something important and read this entire thing, that they will respond with more hate.
I should speak of the issue at hand now.
I should speak of why I am willing to type so much nonsense, and then hope that it will not be perceived as such.
Well if I shall do so, then I shall do so directly! This is my final plea on the matter. I fear that it will get shot down faster than my attempts to feel accepted on a server that I once was respected! But nonetheless, I must explain my position in depth.
Do I care about the Mist's direct effect on myself? No. I do not care if you think I am a selfish player, because in truth, I am. This is because of losing Trinity, and even though Arcane was glad enough to accept me, I am not where I belong. I do not care about the Mist's direct on myself, and it has nothing to do with the fact that some peg me as selfish. It has everything to do with the fact that it will never end up causing the death of mine unless I choose it to.
What I do care about, is that there are players on this server, who I myself have seen on other servers. PvP servers. And yet, they manage to feel so strongly about the PvP aspect of this community. Do they not understand the constant arguing and struggles that are inherit with this fighting online? Do they not understand the pain that they have caused others? Do they think that PvP is really better here, despite the fact that there are millions of servers that cater to PvP? These questions are rhetorical of course. The answer is yes to all of them. And the answer is the exact opposite of what it should be. And it befuddles me, as a rather intelligent but extremely sensitive and naive individual, as to why the answers are yes.
I would speculate as to why the answer is yes, but I need not do so. I such wish to tell you guys that the answer should be no. And I am not willing to type an entire rant within a rant as to why it makes little sense to actually care about PvP on this server. That being said, it is perfectly acceptable, in my eyes, to have an occasional joust with other members that you love and respect...
But as soon as you start killing those you don't know or don't respect, you are damaging this server more than a DoS attack! You are damaging this server with your lust to murder more than I damaged this server with my arguing with connorartman97 over a year ago, or my arguing with VVolfie a few days ago. Or anybody's arguing with anybody, ever. I can respect your choice to PvP with others. But I can not respect your choice to do so in a serious manner. In a manner where you can harm other people's feelings.
But, this is the internet. Feelings are supposed to get hurt. People are supposed to bully others over the internet to the point where they kill themselves, just so the bullies can get some sense of satisfaction in their lives. And that is certainly not the case with Minecraft, especially a well protected and enforced server such as MineRealm. But it is the case. Not to the severity of what I explained, but to some measurable amount.
The Mist is no exception. The Mist is taking those who wish not to fight, and although not technically forcing them to fight, forcing them to be apart of something just how I was forced away from Trinity, even after trying to keep it alive without the help of seasoned veteran players.
If you are fine with being part of the group of people who are forcing this upon the server, then I pass no judgement upon your character. But, it is your actions who define you. And even though I attempt to pass no judgement, others will, and honestly, I will probably do so to some extent as well.
But you may continue. You may continue to support this feature even if you are aware of what it is doing. You may continue to argue that it has no negative side effects, and you may be right.
You may also be wrong.
And if you are wrong, then I am by default correct. And I wish to be incorrect with all of my heart, soul, and mind. I wish that I was not the one who had to type this. I wish that I was not the wake-up call to some and the snooze button to others. I want you to have read this and woken up, and seen what I see when I write a destructive and inappropriate response on this thread. I do not want you to see this post and hit the metaphorical snooze button. For one, the snooze button is a weak metaphor in itself. But I do not want you to be able to sleep with the thoughts that you support this feature. And that is ridiculous to the highest degree. Maybe why I chose such as dumb metaphor.
I want you to change. I don't want to fight with anybody on this server. I want to be like the rest of you, who are fine with how things are going. I don't want to submit this post. But I feel like I must. I feel like it is my responsibility to stop the Mist. Regardless of whether or not it gets me banned or hated or cussed at.
I have already been disrespected enough, and I have already disrespected enough. So I thank all of you. I thank those who have fought to kill the innocent on this server. I thank those who have gotten into arguments with me, or those who have stolen my items. I thank you because I have pulled the final straw out of my arsenal to stop what I believe is a monstrosity. And you helped me do so.
So, essentially, maybe the Mist is not a bad thing. Even though I spent an hour just now writing about how it may be, I realize that perhaps it is not. This is because it is just a feature that may end up forcing one out of a hundred to fight. But that is not the point. This Mist is food for the worst nightmare somebody who loves this server like myself can have. The Mist is fuel to the fire that is burning us all to the ground. I don't ask you to change your mind or opinion about the Mist, but I ask you to change your demeanor. I don't want to argue with you all, or with any of you. I don't want to be angry because every single project I have ever started on this server has failed. I don't want to be mad because although you all know my name and know who I am, you don't know what I feel. And that is why I am posting this. I want you all to know how I truly feel about the reasons behind my hatred of the Mist.
Not the Mist itself.
But what arises behind the Mist.
A darker, more terrifying Mist. A concept that has suffocated many, and a terrible plague that I am only trying to heal. Even if it seems like I am making matters worse.
I thank you again Prodigy9. Without you, I would have never written this. Without you, I would have never felt like I must be a delegate on some threads and voice my opinion. But as powerful as a single opinion may be, I hope that this one post can be more powerful than that. I hope, with much doubt but much reason, that this post can change us all. And I know it won't. I know this post will cause more flame.
So hit the like button, the quote button, or just yell at me through this medium of the internet called the forums. But as long as I have swayed one person, not to be on my side, but to understand why I was upset, and why I feel lost, then I have done what I wished to do.
Intelli, I am sorry for posting this. I am sorry if you read this and think that it has anything to do with essentially anything offensive or flame-worthy. And I am sorry to you, for damaging a relationship that I have tried to start up. But I hope you know that the only reason I still play on this server is because I have hope. Because I have hope that I can learn from my time on MineRealm and be a better person in real life. And that should be what MineRealm does to people. We should establish real life feelings for people we meet on the internet. And when those feelings get broken, like mine are as of now, we should learn how to thank those who broke them, for they taught us how to repair them as well.
Thank you all for reading this. I hope next time you see me post in the forums or play on the server for an hour or so, you look back to this. For I don't wish this to become meaningful to us all, I just wish for it to become meaningful to me.
