- Wed Oct 07, 2015 8:10 pm
#195210
A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from what looks like an empty house. They see two people go in; then, a few minutes later, they see three people come out.
The physicist says, "There must have been a rounding error."
The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."
The mathematician says, "If exactly one person goes into the house, it will be empty."
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A mathematician and an engineer are at a conference. After the main events of the day, they're talking about their experience with the venue.
"Oh, it was awful," said the engineer. "I woke up in the middle of the night to find my floor on fire!" "What did you do?" the mathematician asked. "Well, I smothered the fire with my blankets, then went to the bathroom and got some water from the sink to put it out with."
That night, the mathematician wakes up to find a fire in his hotel room. For a moment, he panics; then, remembering what the engineer said, he relaxes and, content that a solution exists, goes back to sleep.
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A countably infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer; the second, 1/2 a beer; the third, 1/4 of a beer. "All right, I see where this is going," says the bartender, and gives them two beers.
"What?" say the mathematicians. "That's it?" "C'mon, guys," says the bartender. "Know your limits."
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The next night, another countably infinite number of mathematicians come into the bar. The first orders a beer; the second orders 1/2 of a beer; and the third orders 1/3 of a beer. The bartender gets angry. "What are you trying to pull?" he says, and throws them out.
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The next night, an uncountably infinite number of mathematicians go to the bar. "Woah, woah!" says the bartender. "How am I supposed to serve you if you won't get in order?"
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A countably infinite number of mathematicians walks into the bar.
The bartender sighs.
The first mathematician orders 1 beer; the second 2 beers; the third 3 beers.
"Screw you guys," grumbles the bartender, and serves them -1/12 of a beer.
~dlgn
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