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By OrigamiElephant
#188146
Also, if you have the stomach for it and are not already aware, you can do some research on Judge William Adams of Texas and what he went through when his autistic daughter recorded him beating her mercilessly for 20-30 minutes.

THAT is child abuse and assault. THAT should have landed him in the slammer. Instead he still sits on the bench as a family court judge.
By diamond_boss
#188208
Thank you so much for posting this! Honestly, it's so sad how antisocial people of my generation are. Seriously, so many people spend so much time inside their houses playing video games or whatever, and then they complain about how nobody talks to them in social situations and how terrible their social life is because 'nobody likes them'.
I really think that the people of my generation have such a distorted image of the world and the proper way of acting... they think it's normal to surf facebook or tumblr all day (don't... even get me started on tumblr) and never go out anywhere with actual people. And then at the end of the day when we're all alone, we think that the world owes us something.
We all need to push away our insecurities of being judged and just talk, or do. I know how hard that can be for some people... I was at a party once and didn't even put my phone down for an hour because I only knew a few people there, and I was afraid of how I might screw myself if I said or did the wrong thing. That was a long time ago and I don't do that anymore - I just wish that less people treated their technology as a shield and hide behind it. It might be hard, but trust me, being awesome is better than being isolated.
(Lol I just remembered that I have like a thousand posts.)
By diamond_boss
#188210
Bu1ld0g wrote:
dlgn wrote: Hitting your kids is harmful and makes behavior worse long-term. Since it's psychologically traumatic, it falls under the label of abuse.

Yelling doesn't work either, and is also harmful. Since it's psychologically traumatic (as I know from personal experience), it falls under the label of abuse.


To quote Vicki Hoefle, mother of six and the author of Duct Tape Parenting, “Discipline implies setting limits and boundaries. But the way we do it is, ‘I’m going to punish you when you do something I don’t like.’ It’s a completely wasted moment.”
Wow, I couldn't completely disagree with you more....
Oh... sorry for the DP, but I had to say something about this.
The fact that I don't repeat bad behavior is because my parents have taught me the impact of consequences through discipline. Trust me, I would have kept being an idiot if my parents never kept me in line, and I have great respect for them because of that. Some of the teenagers I know are bad because they got beat a lot, and grew to resent their parents because of that (this is why you don't beat your kids), but the worst teenagers I know are the ones that never got disciplined and go around thinking they own the world with what little mind they have.

You don't know how many people turn to drugs, sex, alcohol, self harm, the internet, and video games because they weren't raised properly and got abused by their parents. On the other hand of bad parenting, there are the 'whatever, I don't care' kids who pull in 60's and have no respect for anyone because they always did whatever they wanted and were not disciplined enough.

If you want to raise your kids right, there has to be a balance... but dl, if yelling at your kids is 'abuse' then be prepared for lots of bratty snobs in the future because in many cases, even yelling isn't enough to get a kid in line. Please everyone, respect that this isn't from the perspective of a parent... but of a teenager who's seen (and still sees) other people grow up beside him.
By JonColmanator
#188236
As part of a people who did get a stern yelling at if he did something bad, or a spanking if he was extra bad, I turned out fairly alright. That, and I, for all my life, spent seemingly 'unhealthy' numbers of hours in front of the screen. Sure, I'm not exactly Mr. Popular, and I don't have many friends; but all the friends that I do have in the real world are true friends. The sort that stick with you through the thick and thin.

What annoys me about this video, from my perspective at least, is that this video seems to blame technology for the social and cognitive failings of people nowadays. Of course, there are many people who spent many screen hours like me and turned out bad; but my mind always seems focused on a habit that, even though you may not see it as such, is a most human habit indeed. You see, one thing that we humans seem to get a kick out of doing is blaming everything but ourselves. Kids are 'antisocial'? Blame technology and video games, not the kids' choices or the guidance of parents, always the technology and video games. We live in a day and age where people have it in their heads that our lives are not moulded by ourselves, but purely by the environment around us. In publicised media and studies, this assumption we as a people make is a correct one, but in reality I am willing to bet that many of these cases were influenced by the choices of the person involved... not the environment they were exposed to.

Now, as for the public decrying those who's children get the occasional scrape from accidents, or people using legal action against others for minor incidents... that stems from a gradual progression of more sheltered parenting and care. If one shelters a person, that person will find other means of seemingly interacting with the world, and that is through technology. Even though I spent many hours in front of a computer screen, I still spent some time outside playing and more often than not grazing myself or cutting myself. Mother would put a plaster and some antiseptic, and depending on how big the graze was, she'd let me go straight outside again. This instance of little sheltering gave me a small insight to what pain was, and made me more hard-skinned. Because I was given the choice to go out and risk getting myself hurt, thus not being sheltered, I learned to suck up minor accidents, and not immediately blame others for my issues. Many other kids around my age also experienced this, and come the first year of secondary school, we were all fairly hardened 11 year olds. As such, our football (soccer) and rugby was often brutally rough and the vast majority of us had a great deal of fun doing it, and if some of us got injured, we'd laugh it off or if it was serious, we calmly dealt with it instead of decrying the world around us for our strife. One example was when one of my rugby opponents accidentally fell on my right forearm, snapping one bone in 3 places and the other in 2. One week after we were laughing about it.

Yet a good 4 years later, when my year group would often play football on a hardcourt with people of different year groups, I accidentally a 13 year old on the ankle, he fell over and started crying about a small graze, with himself and his colleagues immediately having a go at me for 'injuring' the boy. It was pretty clear that this lot simply, as a whole, were not nearly as used to tumbling a bit as my lot were, despite my lot facing much worse at a younger age. Because of this, I can say that not exposing someone to a little taste of the real outside world can be all the more damaging than shielding them away from it completely, and I fear that by the time I reach my 30's (or some other time I decide to make a new life), humanity will be too afraid to come out of it's cave. I'm 19 now.

Of course, everything I say is HIGHLY generalistic, and not to be taken as targetting any specific individuals.
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By SilentCitizen
#188242
I see that just one of the topics being discussed right now is the lack of punishment that kids receive during this day and age. I for one am one of the few that play on this server back when spanking came with options (hand, belt, a small stick). I was also raised by my grandparents so my punishments were a bit harsher. As some of you may know I am 31 and was born and raised in the 80's. Back then kids didn't tattle on their parents for a little spanking, but over time media "exaggerated" how bad it is to spank a child. This is what caused the fear of punishment when it comes to the parents. Back then it was okay and people normally came out alright. Now, with the very little punishment that parents are allowed to use it's no wonder we have such rude little kids these days. Well... I turned out alright. Yes, I did cause trouble as I grew up, but what kid didn't?

Now, when it comes to people blaming technology and video games, that is a bit of a mixed bag. Can we really blame technology and video games? Kinda. Most of the time when you hear about kids acting out because of violence whether it's tv/movies/games/internet, the only people that can truly be in the wrong are the parents. We have ways to keep kids from seeing that stuff... to an extent when it comes to tv and internet. Now as for movies and video games... THERE IS A RATING SYSTEM FOR A REASON! Okay, had to get that out there... sorry.

If anyone has issues with what I have wrote, then I'm sorry. I just had to say something. If people really want to blame technology for the lack of real life socialization, the solution is quite simple... TURN OFF THE ELECTRONICS. Send them outside for some real world interaction. I used to go off adventuring in the woods that was near one of my homes back when I was growing up (ages 5-12). My grandparents were fine with this as long as I came back before dark. Well, that's all I have to say for now so I'll stop here. I'd rather not go on an endless rant about this topic :P

P.S. Taking into consideration that we have players from all over the world, I would like to point out that when it comes to the topic of how parents are limited when it comes to punishment. These are basically just what I know/experienced when it comes to those in America (particularly the United States). I do not claim to know how it's done in other countries.
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By Meowrocket
#188243
Honestly, technology isn't the only thing that makes me 'antisocial' and 'violent'. I'd much rather spend a day in my family's woods clearing the paths of fallen trees with an axe than spend time with people. Some people, like me, are just naturally withdrawn and normally loathe interaction. I like cutting trees.
Yay.
Anyway, I've been this way since I was born. Sit by myself, do what I want to do. That was vefore I had even seen a computer....
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By Life_is_a_party
#188255
Meowrocket wrote:Honestly, technology isn't the only thing that makes me 'antisocial' and 'violent'. I'd much rather spend a day in my family's woods clearing the paths of fallen trees with an axe than spend time with people. Some people, like me, are just naturally withdrawn and normally loathe interaction. I like cutting trees.
Yay.
Anyway, I've been this way since I was born. Sit by myself, do what I want to do. That was before I had even seen a computer....
A bit like this, then?
Introverts!.jpg
Introverts!.jpg (213.17 KiB) Viewed 2691 times
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By Meowrocket
#188266
Exactly.
And using these people's logic, my violence is not from violent parents. It's from idiotic bullies in elementary school, probably.
I can't wait for another tree to fall, woodcutting lets me get my violence out.
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By Wormoxide
#188269
He was better off not looking up, since he would have lost his computer for a worthless rock.
By Bu1ld0g
#188271
Best part about this thread?
A teenager reads a few case studies and thinks he's an expert at parenting.

Come back when you have some actual experience in these things Deel...
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