Meowrocket wrote:dlgn wrote:You can't cotton wool wrap the entire world I'm afraid Deel.
You're right! We shouldn't bother to prevent people from saying things that are almost always offensive, because there's a slight chance that they could be used to reference something else, and we shouldn't force people to use synonyms! In fact, we should remove the whole swear filter. After all, there's no point in trying to prevent everyone from getting offended, hurt, depressed, or suicidal due to constantly seeing egocentric idiots everywhere, even on a family server, blithely and unnecessarily using a word that demeans them and reduces their entire existence to an insult just because they feel like it!
Okay. Deel.
I think you're blowing this a *little* out of perspective.
I've been called many things. I've been chased down halls by people wanting to hurt me.
I am often called insane, in need of a mental counselor, etc. etc.
I am often cussed at, insulted, all that.
Being offended isn't that bad. I wouldn't go as far as to ban the use of a word incorrectly used as an insult because it may offend some people, because sure, that is a derogatory term for mentally ill people, but it's not being used in that sense necessarily. Although, if you say that being called a word is the worst thing imaginable, obviously you've never been chased down hallways by freaks who want to beat you up for being from an odd background and in a strange religion. Hell, I've always been insulted. Learning to roll with it is the first thing you really learn as a person often picked on.
Don't assume the victim is always weak.
You can build up a tolerance to words, and if they're on the internet, where you can PROVE IT, if it's a direct attack you can report it or just ignore it. I know I am bad at this myself and this is stereotypical advice, but if you can't ignore them, just report them to staff. As said previously, if you don't like it, tell a staff member who can evaluate the situation and ban accordingly. Even my friends who are mentally ill refer to themselves like that, so... I think you're just being a little bit of an overprotective friend.
Sorry deel, voted no.
You bring up some valid points. But.
Don't assume the victim is always weak.
So we shouldn't ban any slurs at all? It doesn't take being "weak" to be upset by people constantly being racist, sexist, ableist, or homophobic. Everyone has a breaking point. Gay people aren't "weak" but they have a high rate of teenage suicide because they're constantly harassed.
Even my friends who are mentally ill refer to themselves like tht, so...
That's completely different. It's called "reclamation" and it involves the members of an oppressed group taking a word used to oppress them for themselves to get rid of its power. That doesn't make it okay for people who aren't in that group to use it, because it isn't their choice to make. For example, a black person might refer to herself using the n-word, and it would be completely different than a white person referring to her using it; in the first case, she's taking away the word's power, while in the second, the white person is reinforcing the traditionally oppressive use of the word, intentionally or not.
You guys all realllly need to take sociology courses, or at least learn about oppression rather than relying on your anecdotal experiences (which are completely different than the experiences of people who are in oppressed groups that you aren't in) and your preconceptions about social justice. People are constantly saying "it isn't a big deal". No, it isn't a big deal to you. It doesn't happen to you, and so you don't see it. You may think you are capable of knowing what happens to oppressed groups you aren't a part of based on your personal experience. You're wrong, and that's a dangerous assumption to make, and in fact forms the basis of many logical fallacies (misuse of anecdotal evidence, confirmation bias, etc.).
It isn't your job to determine how hurtful a word is to someone else. That's their job. And let's be realistic here. There are no uses of the word "retarded" that can't easi ly be replaced with synonyms except for the offensive ones. You're just trying to come up with excuses to justify your prior and continued behavior (which is, itself, ableist).
If you're ever saying "Well, it's okay for me to use this slur because *blah*" and you aren't a member of the oppressed group it's slurring, you're doing something (read:a basic level of respect for other humans) wrong.
I am the whirring thing past the corner. I am the darker patch under the bed. I am the tapping on your window; the extra steps on the sidewalk; the voice whispering your name. I am Stalkerbot, and I am watching you.
