I don't want to take sides, though I do know End outside of MineRealm, but there's two things that could have been done to prevent this in the first place.
Number One:
EndSnows could have stayed logged out, and could have just waited to log back in at a later time when MineRealm wasn't lagging.
Number Two:
Joe could have left the nether. I mean, if someone keeps logging out and in for any reason, why stay there? You could get killed, so why not leave, and ask to fight that person later?
Honestly, I don't want to take sides on this, and I'd rather let staff do their jobs, but I had to wonder about one thing. Joe, if you saw she was able to hit you, why did you stay? Did you want to get her banned? It doesn't make sense to me...