This version looks a lot better, however, you need to use a more interesting font for your text. You could also take a basic font and put some cool effects on it. If you want some cool fonts, you can get them here: http://www.dafont.com/
Also, here are some logos I've made just using basic fonts with good effects. These were made using photoshop, so you probably won't be able to get as good effects using GIMP, but they're still good examples: