- Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:19 am
#41663
I Know im double posting but things would just be 2 mixed up if I wouldnt do it like this.
This is a PM I wrote, First I wanted to keep it personal for intelli only. But I came of thoughts that we'll I have to apologize to everyone, not just Intelli or shampoo.
I know how brutal people can be on forums, So please keep in mind this are actually my feelings.. not just some random stuff u can literally blow up to peaces, So all I ask dont rip only some parts of the letter and post a way you would know it better or an answer on something you dont have 2 answer to. Thank you for this..
Intelli, (god I wanted to apply to your real name) First I want to say sorry for my English. I really want to say this to you in person, or in a pm like this.
first of all Im sorry for what I have done.. I can't talk this to a possitive thinking towards me, but atleast I could do is to apologize for my deeds. There's an thing I want to share with you before u jugde me to a terrible person! (That's not even close to what I'am). For a small month ago I was declared depressed by my doctor, and gave medicine for this. My depression acts out in wary different ways depending on the situation. This is most of the time kind and really generous even a Soft type of character (has to do with the pills they make me slow, but its also a bit in my own nature) But because I just started with these pills they dont holdme back constantly.. so when something emotional occurs (like bannin me at my only comfort in life atm, since I cannot work while in this depression) gave me the following feelings.. first I needed to cry.. and yes i cried (man i 24.. crying about a game.. ) but it just happend.. then I start to think how can i solve this and what made me banned. So im trying to figure this whole thing out. I get the conclusion I was banned for griefin something of that i was unaware of! ( I also explained that once i've letted a friend play and I have no idea what he did.) Ok, so i start to try and get me unbanned Im sorry for this that what happend on the server, I know that there are rules and everyone needs to keep them on these rules. (like u might allready know im 24+depression, but im not a little kid that needs to test everything.)
Oke.. so that's the part where everything is still fine.. im a littlebit sad but thats also the depression kickin in, then after quite a while I notice something.. there are no reactions at all. (ofc. I know there are more things that you do so u cant get on every message right away) but this sets me in a anger/rage function Im getting really mad.. (depression kickin in, before this I didnt even knew what the word rage or anger was.) So I need to test the system,.. U,.. and ofc the one who banned me shampoo, So I start a fake account to see how long it would take for anyone to figure out that I and the fake account have the same IP adress.. just for my feelings.. so I know that in that time someone easily could have made a small response on my messages that I posted to get me unbanned to the server. And ofcourse as I said for my own feelings my letter is targeted to Shampoo, he that banned me. I've done this all in one quick rage session that occured.. I can't tell you how much i recret doing all this.. It makes me cry again.. why,.. well because this aint me! this aint me at all! im not that person who does these things... So I allready need to struggle with these feelings.. I think I really have been punish'd for my deeds. I said this aint my day at all.. its a day that things go wrong and my emotions are really high up.
I hope you take my letter serieus. I now told you the truth about what happend today. I wanted to get this in a personal post because I'm not proud of being depressed.. cry and rage like a child etc. The only thing I want is to play on your server, proceed with an really nice building I was working on, playing with the friends I made and get a better feeling everyday. And maby you can even take a look sometime or we can have a little chat about how things are going.
If u feel that u can't get me unbanned there's something u need to do for me, if thats not to much to be asked for. I had allot of stuff in my building and chests. The building should go to Billy__mitchell he's a real friend! he helped me so much completing my dream project, and gave me so much materials! He's a awesome guy and only 15 years old! You dont see that everyday.. still I hope to speak to him sometime. And the other wish I would have is that AlucardF0Xfurry came to live in my house(project) and he had allot of stuff in my chests, so if he could get his chests back. Still this is not the thing Im hoping for.. I really hope to play again, and build on with my friends!
Allready thanks for taking a small amount of your time for reading this!
Sincerelly,
Dennis
Mcloaded
This is a PM I wrote, First I wanted to keep it personal for intelli only. But I came of thoughts that we'll I have to apologize to everyone, not just Intelli or shampoo.
I know how brutal people can be on forums, So please keep in mind this are actually my feelings.. not just some random stuff u can literally blow up to peaces, So all I ask dont rip only some parts of the letter and post a way you would know it better or an answer on something you dont have 2 answer to. Thank you for this..
Intelli, (god I wanted to apply to your real name) First I want to say sorry for my English. I really want to say this to you in person, or in a pm like this.
first of all Im sorry for what I have done.. I can't talk this to a possitive thinking towards me, but atleast I could do is to apologize for my deeds. There's an thing I want to share with you before u jugde me to a terrible person! (That's not even close to what I'am). For a small month ago I was declared depressed by my doctor, and gave medicine for this. My depression acts out in wary different ways depending on the situation. This is most of the time kind and really generous even a Soft type of character (has to do with the pills they make me slow, but its also a bit in my own nature) But because I just started with these pills they dont holdme back constantly.. so when something emotional occurs (like bannin me at my only comfort in life atm, since I cannot work while in this depression) gave me the following feelings.. first I needed to cry.. and yes i cried (man i 24.. crying about a game.. ) but it just happend.. then I start to think how can i solve this and what made me banned. So im trying to figure this whole thing out. I get the conclusion I was banned for griefin something of that i was unaware of! ( I also explained that once i've letted a friend play and I have no idea what he did.) Ok, so i start to try and get me unbanned Im sorry for this that what happend on the server, I know that there are rules and everyone needs to keep them on these rules. (like u might allready know im 24+depression, but im not a little kid that needs to test everything.)
Oke.. so that's the part where everything is still fine.. im a littlebit sad but thats also the depression kickin in, then after quite a while I notice something.. there are no reactions at all. (ofc. I know there are more things that you do so u cant get on every message right away) but this sets me in a anger/rage function Im getting really mad.. (depression kickin in, before this I didnt even knew what the word rage or anger was.) So I need to test the system,.. U,.. and ofc the one who banned me shampoo, So I start a fake account to see how long it would take for anyone to figure out that I and the fake account have the same IP adress.. just for my feelings.. so I know that in that time someone easily could have made a small response on my messages that I posted to get me unbanned to the server. And ofcourse as I said for my own feelings my letter is targeted to Shampoo, he that banned me. I've done this all in one quick rage session that occured.. I can't tell you how much i recret doing all this.. It makes me cry again.. why,.. well because this aint me! this aint me at all! im not that person who does these things... So I allready need to struggle with these feelings.. I think I really have been punish'd for my deeds. I said this aint my day at all.. its a day that things go wrong and my emotions are really high up.
I hope you take my letter serieus. I now told you the truth about what happend today. I wanted to get this in a personal post because I'm not proud of being depressed.. cry and rage like a child etc. The only thing I want is to play on your server, proceed with an really nice building I was working on, playing with the friends I made and get a better feeling everyday. And maby you can even take a look sometime or we can have a little chat about how things are going.
If u feel that u can't get me unbanned there's something u need to do for me, if thats not to much to be asked for. I had allot of stuff in my building and chests. The building should go to Billy__mitchell he's a real friend! he helped me so much completing my dream project, and gave me so much materials! He's a awesome guy and only 15 years old! You dont see that everyday.. still I hope to speak to him sometime. And the other wish I would have is that AlucardF0Xfurry came to live in my house(project) and he had allot of stuff in my chests, so if he could get his chests back. Still this is not the thing Im hoping for.. I really hope to play again, and build on with my friends!
Allready thanks for taking a small amount of your time for reading this!
Sincerelly,
Dennis
Mcloaded
Hi, My name is McLoaded, U might know me from the Shampoo Accident!
