- Sat Oct 05, 2013 5:42 am
#176117
(Disclaimer: this post may be considered slightly disturbing. If you dislike blood, demons, or human sacrifice, stop reading now.)
Souls. Quite useful. In a body, they provide will, compassion, etc. Outside of it, they're worth quite a bit, as they aren't particularly easy to get hold of, and are quite useful for arcane rituals; it eliminates the need to bind and gag people, drag them into a dark cave, and is altogether rather inconvenient, expensive, and messy, and it's altogether not worth going to such trouble in many cases, as, for some reason or other, a sacrificial victim is quite resistant to the idea of becoming a sacrifice in a ritual to create blood runes on Intelli's Tower to freak people out.
I myself have no soul; I woke up the morning I was born, and discovered that I simply didn't have one. I don't know why, but in any case, I've managed to function quite well without. Of course, people who are used to having souls don't do well without them; they lose their will, compassion, etc., and generally invest in stocks.
The best way to get a soul, in my experience, is by summoning a certain demon who is rather fond of consuming them. I have had the opportunity to review the ritual, as Intelli took my old tools and tried to use them to steal Rokkr's soul, but failed, as Rokkr's devotion to him was blocked by Rokkr actually having a life outside of Minecraft. Intelli subsequently left them under his tower at spawn where I can't get at them.
The first step is to obtain a knife. It must be polished, gleaming. It must be made of the strongest material there is, diamond. And, above all, it must be the sharpest blade that the world has ever seen, and you must name it Hunger. In other words, you must obtain a completely unused Sharpness V Diamond Sword, and name it Hunger. This blade will be inhabited by the demon Hunger during the ritual.
Now, as it happens, Hunger enjoys consuming souls quite a bit, and, in some cases, you might want to let him; for example, if you want to strike up a bargain with him, say, a soul in exchange for painting some blood runes on Intelli's Tower. However, in this case, you aren't going to want to let him consume the soul, so you're going to need something to keep it in. The best container is a glass bottle, clean (preferably newly made and unused), of course, and ideally filled with pure water. While it's perfectly possible to keep a soul in an empty bottle, the soul can then rattle around and be a pain to carry, and will sometimes manage to break the glass and fly around the inside of your bag screaming, which is very annoying. While keeping a soul in water dilutes it a bit, it can be re-concentrated with little difficulty.
Another ingredient required is Nether Wart, which is often used in potion brewing. However, in this case, you will only use it right as the soul starts to fly into the water, to enhance the water's receptiveness. If added too early, it will brew into an awkward potion, which will cause all sorts of problems when you try to add the soul: the mixing will be awkward, it will be awkward to carry and awkward to use, the soul may itself become rather awkward, and it may attract enough attention that people start asking awkward questions, so be careful to keep your Nether Wart far from your water bottle.
The next step is to ready the sword to receive Hunger's presence, which requires blood of the innocent. Go to the Nether and hunt down 13 innocent noobs. They must be truly innocent, and have green +s if possible. You cannot pay them, as the bribery destroys their innocence, and you can't use one multiple times, as its anger at being killed will corrupt it as well. You must be careful only to kill the truly innocent, and only noobs, because if another is slain by the sword, the desecration will be ruined, and the only way to continue using it is to reforge it and start over. As reforging it involves carrying it through a lava lake without a Fire Resistance potion, it's generally best to be careful.
Now, before I continue any further, note that you must choose your honored guest (victim) carefully. Your guest must be eager to go with you, although they don't have to know what you're going to do. And your guest must adore you. These are necessary to cause the soul to be passionate enough to resist the pull of the Aetherworlds. There are other ways to get people to be passionate enough, but it is rather difficult to get to your knife in such a situation, and, in any case, I'll forego a detailed explanation for the sake of the children who are browsing this forum.
Anyway, once the noobs have been killed, and the sword is covered in their blood, you must commit some sort of at least mildly horrifying act with it. Killing a staff who is performing his/her duties, perhaps. Griefing. Giving out the URL to Miley Cyrus's performance at the VMAs. However, as these are all against the rules, the most efficient way is to do the following.
1. Stick it into your mouth and carefully prick the tip of your tongue with it.
2. Let exactly one drop of blood run down the blade. (Drink the rest.)
3. Chant the following: "Oh Hunger, Great Demon, I beeseech thee, come so that I may offer to you sweet essence: the essence of <name of your victim>, to feed thy profane hunger." Now, obviously, you aren't going to let Hunger devour the soul. However, as Calvin put it, "Monsters don't think very clearly when they're hungry."
4. Stab.
5. Be careful--you don't want Hunger consuming the soul. It will start to be absorbed fairly quickly, so pop the Netherwart into the bottle, let the soul fly in, and cork it.
6. Impale a piece of pumpkin pie on the sword. Hunger can't tell the difference and will go away.
Congratulations, you now have your very own soul! There are a number of things you can do with it. You can keep it as it is, for your arcane rituals; you can sell it; you can devour it; or you can let the water dry out, leaving you with soul powder, a delicious and healthy addition to smoothies.
Next up is our good friend krinbros, telling you how to steal a heart.
~dlgn
Souls. Quite useful. In a body, they provide will, compassion, etc. Outside of it, they're worth quite a bit, as they aren't particularly easy to get hold of, and are quite useful for arcane rituals; it eliminates the need to bind and gag people, drag them into a dark cave, and is altogether rather inconvenient, expensive, and messy, and it's altogether not worth going to such trouble in many cases, as, for some reason or other, a sacrificial victim is quite resistant to the idea of becoming a sacrifice in a ritual to create blood runes on Intelli's Tower to freak people out.
I myself have no soul; I woke up the morning I was born, and discovered that I simply didn't have one. I don't know why, but in any case, I've managed to function quite well without. Of course, people who are used to having souls don't do well without them; they lose their will, compassion, etc., and generally invest in stocks.
The best way to get a soul, in my experience, is by summoning a certain demon who is rather fond of consuming them. I have had the opportunity to review the ritual, as Intelli took my old tools and tried to use them to steal Rokkr's soul, but failed, as Rokkr's devotion to him was blocked by Rokkr actually having a life outside of Minecraft. Intelli subsequently left them under his tower at spawn where I can't get at them.
The first step is to obtain a knife. It must be polished, gleaming. It must be made of the strongest material there is, diamond. And, above all, it must be the sharpest blade that the world has ever seen, and you must name it Hunger. In other words, you must obtain a completely unused Sharpness V Diamond Sword, and name it Hunger. This blade will be inhabited by the demon Hunger during the ritual.
Now, as it happens, Hunger enjoys consuming souls quite a bit, and, in some cases, you might want to let him; for example, if you want to strike up a bargain with him, say, a soul in exchange for painting some blood runes on Intelli's Tower. However, in this case, you aren't going to want to let him consume the soul, so you're going to need something to keep it in. The best container is a glass bottle, clean (preferably newly made and unused), of course, and ideally filled with pure water. While it's perfectly possible to keep a soul in an empty bottle, the soul can then rattle around and be a pain to carry, and will sometimes manage to break the glass and fly around the inside of your bag screaming, which is very annoying. While keeping a soul in water dilutes it a bit, it can be re-concentrated with little difficulty.
Another ingredient required is Nether Wart, which is often used in potion brewing. However, in this case, you will only use it right as the soul starts to fly into the water, to enhance the water's receptiveness. If added too early, it will brew into an awkward potion, which will cause all sorts of problems when you try to add the soul: the mixing will be awkward, it will be awkward to carry and awkward to use, the soul may itself become rather awkward, and it may attract enough attention that people start asking awkward questions, so be careful to keep your Nether Wart far from your water bottle.
The next step is to ready the sword to receive Hunger's presence, which requires blood of the innocent. Go to the Nether and hunt down 13 innocent noobs. They must be truly innocent, and have green +s if possible. You cannot pay them, as the bribery destroys their innocence, and you can't use one multiple times, as its anger at being killed will corrupt it as well. You must be careful only to kill the truly innocent, and only noobs, because if another is slain by the sword, the desecration will be ruined, and the only way to continue using it is to reforge it and start over. As reforging it involves carrying it through a lava lake without a Fire Resistance potion, it's generally best to be careful.
Now, before I continue any further, note that you must choose your honored guest (victim) carefully. Your guest must be eager to go with you, although they don't have to know what you're going to do. And your guest must adore you. These are necessary to cause the soul to be passionate enough to resist the pull of the Aetherworlds. There are other ways to get people to be passionate enough, but it is rather difficult to get to your knife in such a situation, and, in any case, I'll forego a detailed explanation for the sake of the children who are browsing this forum.
Anyway, once the noobs have been killed, and the sword is covered in their blood, you must commit some sort of at least mildly horrifying act with it. Killing a staff who is performing his/her duties, perhaps. Griefing. Giving out the URL to Miley Cyrus's performance at the VMAs. However, as these are all against the rules, the most efficient way is to do the following.
1. Stick it into your mouth and carefully prick the tip of your tongue with it.
2. Let exactly one drop of blood run down the blade. (Drink the rest.)
3. Chant the following: "Oh Hunger, Great Demon, I beeseech thee, come so that I may offer to you sweet essence: the essence of <name of your victim>, to feed thy profane hunger." Now, obviously, you aren't going to let Hunger devour the soul. However, as Calvin put it, "Monsters don't think very clearly when they're hungry."
4. Stab.
5. Be careful--you don't want Hunger consuming the soul. It will start to be absorbed fairly quickly, so pop the Netherwart into the bottle, let the soul fly in, and cork it.
6. Impale a piece of pumpkin pie on the sword. Hunger can't tell the difference and will go away.
Congratulations, you now have your very own soul! There are a number of things you can do with it. You can keep it as it is, for your arcane rituals; you can sell it; you can devour it; or you can let the water dry out, leaving you with soul powder, a delicious and healthy addition to smoothies.
Next up is our good friend krinbros, telling you how to steal a heart.
~dlgn
I am the whirring thing past the corner. I am the darker patch under the bed. I am the tapping on your window; the extra steps on the sidewalk; the voice whispering your name. I am Stalkerbot, and I am watching you.
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