[diamond_boss]

I wish to be a Intelli, so i could be an amazing person with a boss server

You become Intelli. The server falls due to no more updates, lack of coding, and the noobs... ooh, the noobs. They run wild in spawn tearing every last block apart to use for their cobble huts .

I wish I could be a swag mcmuffin.

[dlgn]

I wish to be a Intelli, so i could be an amazing person with a boss server

The real Intelli finds you, and you get 2 years jail time for impersonation and stealing the real Intelli's money to use for your server. In addition, Intelli bans you as well as anyone who has ever gone on your server, the Third Great Purge. Oh well.

I wish I could not wish.

You couldn't wish in the past, causing your previous wishes to not occur, which creates a time paradox that swallows up the entire universe.

I wish to be better and faster at running.

[Eetrab]

I wish to be better and faster at running.

You become much faster at running. In fact, you accelerate to 0.99c instantly. Since you are at this speed, conventional aerodynamics do not conform, and the oxygen atoms in the air fuse with the carbon/other atoms in your body. Gamma rays and lots of funny particles are emitted from this, expand outward, stripping other atoms of their electrons. The air around you becomes plasma, awash with X-Rays and gamma rays. As you continue, more and more of your body fuses, slowly (actually, near instantly) disintegrating. Soon, you have completely turned into plasma of fused oxygen/carbon atoms and other trace elements.

Things get less and less interesting, as this mass starts to slow and expand, developing into a nuclear bomb type explosion, levelling everything within a sizeable area. This area becomes a crater, the surrounding is engulfed on flames, the rest is baked in X-Rays and gamma rays predominantly and you are now part of the atmosphere.

I wish I could accelerate to (near) the speed of light without what is described above happening.

[nightmarelord11]

I wish I could accelerate to (near) the speed of light without what is described above happening.

Your wish is granted and you are able to run near the speed of light. However you are going so fast that if you stopped you would rip a hole in the space-time continuum and you are met with a morale dilemma. Stop and destroy the universe or keep running until your legs burn up and wither away killing yourself but saving everyone's lives in the process.

I wish i could travel to parallel dimensions. Happy parallel dimensions filled with good stuff. like cake and custard creams.

[eah]

I wish I could accelerate to (near) the speed of light without what is described above happening.

Your wish is granted and you are able to run near the speed of light. However you are going so fast that if you stopped you would rip a hole in the space-time continuum and you are met with a morale dilemma. Stop and destroy the universe or keep running until your legs burn up and wither away killing yourself but saving everyone's lives in the process.

I wish i could travel to parallel dimensions. Happy parallel dimensions filled with good stuff. like cake and custard creams.

Granted. But the beings who created the delicious pastries calculate that you are a high calorie meal. You are examined in a scientific laboratory setting and then slaughtered for consumption.

I wish for infinite knowledge.

[hippoface]

I wish I could accelerate to (near) the speed of light without what is described above happening.

Your wish is granted and you are able to run near the speed of light. However you are going so fast that if you stopped you would rip a hole in the space-time continuum and you are met with a morale dilemma. Stop and destroy the universe or keep running until your legs burn up and wither away killing yourself but saving everyone's lives in the process.

I wish i could travel to parallel dimensions. Happy parallel dimensions filled with good stuff. like cake and custard creams.

Granted. But the beings who created the delicious pastries calculate that you are a high calorie meal. You are examined in a scientific laboratory setting and then slaughtered for consumption.

I wish for infinite knowledge.

You get every memory, everything. Sadly EVERY MEMORY. Including that old man down the road getting dressed, your birth, etc. Life then becomes boring, and you commit suicide.

I wish..... hmmmm... that there were no more murders, no more kidnaps, and no more wars

[Eetrab]

I wish..... hmmmm... that there were no more murders, no more kidnaps, and no more wars

Your wish is granted. Humanity ceases to exist.

[dlgn]

I wish for the revival of our magnificent Aurora©orp.

You cannot pervert our wishes. You cannot escape our machinations. We are Aurora©orp.

[Ryu Aurora]

I wish for the revival of our magnificent Aurora©orp.

You cannot pervert our wishes. You cannot escape our machinations. We are Aurora©orp.

Aurora©orp is currently unable to revive, due to complications involving the CEO being locked in a pocket of space-time. Hypothetically, however...

Aurora©orp is revived when Intelli frees said CEO from his space-time prison. He proceeds to liquidate the entire corporation again, and again takes the literal route. You become a human slushy, along with thousands of other employess, and are enjoyed at the CEO's leisure while he continues to dig holes in the cool underground surrounded by lava lit flooring and glowing waterfalls. He expects you to be sufficiently delicious, lest he turn the portion of slushy containing you into fuel to be shoveled into the furnaces that faithfully churn out metal and stone.

I'll take "Lemon flavored cotton candy and a hand rolled cherry cigar" for $500.

We do not care about our employees. They are fodder for the machine of progress. We enjoy only the finest. We are Aurora©orp.

[dlgn]

You forgot your wish, my lord.