Kerovon's Discount Slimeballs
Posted: Sat May 31, 2014 9:45 pm
Have you been looking for some slimeballs of your very own, but been turned off by the excessive prices? Do the current prices of over 500 credits per stack seem out of your reach? Well, worry no more, because:
Kerovon's Discount Slimeball Store is NOW OPEN!!
I have searched far and wide to be able to bring you the finest of slimeballs, and to enable you to live out your dream of owning your own slimeballs. In fact, I am setting my prices so low, you must think I'm crazy. How low?
25 credits per stack LOW!
How can I bring you slimeballs at this INSANE rate? Hard work and industriousness*. In fact, these prices are so low that instead of offering a bulk ordering discount, I have to offer a bulk ordering price hike†! Are you looking at this and thinking "That sounds great, but I'm a destitute noob! How could I ever afford this?" Then ask about my special Destitute Noob Discount‡
I will be churning out slimeballs as fast as my happy, well compensated workers§ can, but I have just opened my slimefarm. To bring you the quality of slimeballs that my name leads you to expect, it may take a while. I will be fulfilling orders as fast as I can, but depending on my backlog, it may take a while. However, these prices are so cheap, that I doubt you will even complain☨! The orders will most likely be fulfilled in something that resembles a first come first serve order☦, so place your orders here, or badger me ingame††, and get your very own Quality Slime Balls!
*Specifically due to the fact that I only retain the most hardworking and industrious of children for my 20 hour shifts preparing slimeballs.
†Price of bulk orders depends on the size of my order backlog, how fast I'm collecting slime, my opinion of you, the phase of the moon, your history of profiteering, and many other unspecified factors.
‡Terms and conditions possibly including, but not limited to, changes of your forum signature, random tasks for my amusement, and the sale of your soul (which is still cheaper than my competitors) may be required.
§Look at how happy my workers are!
☨ Not really. Some of you would complain if you were given free diamonds.
☦Exceptions apply in cases of large orders, cases where I am too lazy to figure out who ordered first, cases where I can't find you online, cases where I am drunk, or cases where I feel like it.
††Abuse of this ingame ordering system may result in abuse of my staff powers.
EDIT: Because basically all of the purchase requests seem to be bulk, and because I am currently making about 1 double chest of slimeballs per day (and have been running the farm for about 12 hours now), I am going to post a general guideline for bulk pricing. These prices will probably drop as I work my way through my backlog of orders, and build up a stockpile. Please note that these are general guidelines, but can vary based on note †. If you try to abuse it (ordering 53 stacks to get the lower price point, etc), I reserve the right to double the per stack price.
The Amount Delivered Is: 33 Double Chests
The Current Backlog is: 5 Double Chests
Kerovon's Discount Slimeball Store is NOW OPEN!!
I have searched far and wide to be able to bring you the finest of slimeballs, and to enable you to live out your dream of owning your own slimeballs. In fact, I am setting my prices so low, you must think I'm crazy. How low?
25 credits per stack LOW!
How can I bring you slimeballs at this INSANE rate? Hard work and industriousness*. In fact, these prices are so low that instead of offering a bulk ordering discount, I have to offer a bulk ordering price hike†! Are you looking at this and thinking "That sounds great, but I'm a destitute noob! How could I ever afford this?" Then ask about my special Destitute Noob Discount‡
I will be churning out slimeballs as fast as my happy, well compensated workers§ can, but I have just opened my slimefarm. To bring you the quality of slimeballs that my name leads you to expect, it may take a while. I will be fulfilling orders as fast as I can, but depending on my backlog, it may take a while. However, these prices are so cheap, that I doubt you will even complain☨! The orders will most likely be fulfilled in something that resembles a first come first serve order☦, so place your orders here, or badger me ingame††, and get your very own Quality Slime Balls!
*Specifically due to the fact that I only retain the most hardworking and industrious of children for my 20 hour shifts preparing slimeballs.
†Price of bulk orders depends on the size of my order backlog, how fast I'm collecting slime, my opinion of you, the phase of the moon, your history of profiteering, and many other unspecified factors.
‡Terms and conditions possibly including, but not limited to, changes of your forum signature, random tasks for my amusement, and the sale of your soul (which is still cheaper than my competitors) may be required.
§Look at how happy my workers are!
☨ Not really. Some of you would complain if you were given free diamonds.
☦Exceptions apply in cases of large orders, cases where I am too lazy to figure out who ordered first, cases where I can't find you online, cases where I am drunk, or cases where I feel like it.
††Abuse of this ingame ordering system may result in abuse of my staff powers.
EDIT: Because basically all of the purchase requests seem to be bulk, and because I am currently making about 1 double chest of slimeballs per day (and have been running the farm for about 12 hours now), I am going to post a general guideline for bulk pricing. These prices will probably drop as I work my way through my backlog of orders, and build up a stockpile. Please note that these are general guidelines, but can vary based on note †. If you try to abuse it (ordering 53 stacks to get the lower price point, etc), I reserve the right to double the per stack price.
The Amount Delivered Is: 33 Double Chests
The Current Backlog is: 5 Double Chests
