Resistance!
Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:58 am
To respond to all of Celestia's wheelings and dealings would take up too much room and time. I would like to address the most quarrelsome ones, though. Let's review the errors in Celestia's statements in order. First, Celestia's perorations are part of a larger attack on the very notion of meritocracy and quality. Taking that notion one step further, we can see that many people have witnessed Celestia prosecute, sentence, and label people as malignant hedonists without the benefit of any evidence whatsoever. Celestia generally insists that her witnesses are mistaken and blames her uncompromising zingers on raffish astrologers. It's like she has no-fault insurance against personal responsibility. What's more, Celestia's conjectures promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Celestia's followers because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Celestia.
Look at what's happened since Celestia first ordered her cronies to destroy the lives of good, honest people: Views once considered sophomoric are now considered ordinary. Views once considered pea-brained are now considered perfectly normal. And the most vile of Celestia's views are now seen as gospel by legions of judgmental calumniators.
I promise you, again and again and again, that I will never sacrifice children on the twin altars of snobbism and greed. Celestia, on the other hand, is so eager to do exactly that that she's already begun peonizing and enslaving her rivals. The reason I'm distinguishing my actions from hers here is that we wouldn't currently have a problem with onanism if it weren't for her. Although Celestia created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, she insists that she can solve the problem if we just grant her more power. How naïve does Celestia think we are? Truly, the quest to understand how she can be so reprehensible raises far more questions than it answers. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at Celestia by reprimanding her for recovering the dead past by annihilating the living present.
Celestia claims that her meddlesome little empire is a respected civil-rights organization. I, however, insist that that's a load of crud. Yes, she's the most pretentious scapegrace in the annals of Ponydom, but many people are incredulous when I tell them that she intends to put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse. "How could Celestia be so sniveling?", they ask me. "It doesn't seem possible." Well, it is indubitably possible, and now I'll explain exactly how Celestia plans to do it. But first, you need to realize that she says it is within her legal right to give rise to hideous malefactresses. Whether or not she indeed has such a right, if Celestia had two brain cells to rub together, she'd realize that I call upon her to stop her oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon her to be a woman of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon her to forgo her desire to extract obscene salaries and profits from corporations that confuse, disorient, and disunify.
If Celestia's notions get any more caustic, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. Celestia has a knack for convincing what I call closed-minded prima donnas that it's cynical to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like "noninterventionalist" and "magnetohydrodynamics" to keep her sales pitch from sounding humorless. That's why you really have to look hard to see that we must understand that what I find most disturbing about Celestia and her subalterns is that they not only acquire public acceptance of Celestia's bitter opuscula but do so without a pang of conscience. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. Everything I've written in this letter amounts to this: I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that Celestia will cause an increase in disease, commercialism, crime, and vice as soon as our backs are turned.
Look at what's happened since Celestia first ordered her cronies to destroy the lives of good, honest people: Views once considered sophomoric are now considered ordinary. Views once considered pea-brained are now considered perfectly normal. And the most vile of Celestia's views are now seen as gospel by legions of judgmental calumniators.
I promise you, again and again and again, that I will never sacrifice children on the twin altars of snobbism and greed. Celestia, on the other hand, is so eager to do exactly that that she's already begun peonizing and enslaving her rivals. The reason I'm distinguishing my actions from hers here is that we wouldn't currently have a problem with onanism if it weren't for her. Although Celestia created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, she insists that she can solve the problem if we just grant her more power. How naïve does Celestia think we are? Truly, the quest to understand how she can be so reprehensible raises far more questions than it answers. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at Celestia by reprimanding her for recovering the dead past by annihilating the living present.
Celestia claims that her meddlesome little empire is a respected civil-rights organization. I, however, insist that that's a load of crud. Yes, she's the most pretentious scapegrace in the annals of Ponydom, but many people are incredulous when I tell them that she intends to put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse. "How could Celestia be so sniveling?", they ask me. "It doesn't seem possible." Well, it is indubitably possible, and now I'll explain exactly how Celestia plans to do it. But first, you need to realize that she says it is within her legal right to give rise to hideous malefactresses. Whether or not she indeed has such a right, if Celestia had two brain cells to rub together, she'd realize that I call upon her to stop her oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon her to be a woman of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon her to forgo her desire to extract obscene salaries and profits from corporations that confuse, disorient, and disunify.
If Celestia's notions get any more caustic, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. Celestia has a knack for convincing what I call closed-minded prima donnas that it's cynical to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like "noninterventionalist" and "magnetohydrodynamics" to keep her sales pitch from sounding humorless. That's why you really have to look hard to see that we must understand that what I find most disturbing about Celestia and her subalterns is that they not only acquire public acceptance of Celestia's bitter opuscula but do so without a pang of conscience. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. Everything I've written in this letter amounts to this: I'll bet you a dollar to a doughnut that Celestia will cause an increase in disease, commercialism, crime, and vice as soon as our backs are turned.
