Minerealm Community Forums

Post your favourite jokes here!

Please, no inappropriate jokes.

Kress's ego.

aguy130 wrote:Kress's ego.

+1

Wow, fast replies! 0.0

Favorite five.
________________
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
________________
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”
_________________
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
_________________
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
__________________
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
*HIsSSSSS*
?
*BOOOM*

Intelli wrote:Knock Knock
Who's there?
*HIsSSSSS*
?
*BOOOM*

;D It was a snakey

So what's this about free speach in Canada eh?

Intelli does not appreciate canada jokes >.>

I don't appriciate Your Sister jokes but I go with them any way.